A Very Special Recipe: Tequila Christmas Cake!

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This is what happens after making Tequila Christmas Cake. Photo: © tablehopper.com.

I have the honor of being included on my dad’s Vietnam War buddy’s email list, which is a good thing because he’s a hilarious human being, and often includes gems like this one below. We have all seen variations on the Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe, but I don’t think I had ever seen the Tequila Christmas Cake. Thanks, Bob! Merry Christmas to you, and anyone else who attempts holiday baking while intoxicated!

Once again, I’ve had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe.

Please keep this in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!  (Maded mine thish morning!!!!)   1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1 bottle tequila, 2 cups dried fruit.   Sample the tequila to check quality. Take………………… a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality….. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now, shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.