~THANKSGIVING~ is coming up quick, and there are a variety of things to mention, whether you are cookin’ at home or eating out that night.

For those of you cooking your Thanksgiving meal this year, chef de cuisine Ron Boyd of AQUA will demonstrate ~THANKSGIVING COOKING—SLOW FOOD STYLE~. Learn how to prepare some delicious dishes using local seasonal ingredients, plus some tricks on how to make the feast come together smoothly and make it an impressive event for your guests. Free. Saturday November 22nd, 2pm, The Cellar at Macy’s Union Square.

Always wanted to try a ~TURDUCKEN~, but too overwhelmed to try to make it? Ryan Farr of Ivy Elegance (most recently the chef de cuisine at Orson) is making and selling turduckens for Thanksgiving that will be stuffed with a cornbread and chicken sausage stuffing. The turkey, duck, chicken and all other products will be fresh, free range, and organic. There will be two different sizes available, a 15+ pounder for $200 that will happily feed 14, and a 20+ pounder for $250 that will feed 18. Cash and check only. There is a limited amount available, so once they are sold out, you will have to wait until next year. Every turducken will include a thermometer and an aluminum roasting pan with instructions on how to cook it fully. Pick up for the turduckens will start on Tuesday the 25th; a more specific place and time will be arranged on an individual basis. Email Ryan at ivyelegance [at] me [dot] com with any questions or concerns. (I’d like to ask what sound does a turducken make? Cheep gobble quack?)

For those heavy in the wallet but who don’t want to cook or go out, ~FORK AND SPOON PRODUCTIONS~ will create and cater a homemade Thanksgiving feast for you, but it comes out to something like $71.43 per person. If you want to know more, contact Fork & Spoon for details. 2161 Third St., 415-552-7130.

Want to do something helpful besides baste the turkey? Chef Ryan Scott is hosting his ~SECOND ANNUAL THANKSGIVING BAG LUNCH CHARITY GIVEAWAY~. This year, Scott is doing it at Mission Beach Café, delivering 1,500 bag lunches to San Francisco shelters with a team of volunteers. Those interested in helping should email thanksgivinglunch [at] gmail [dot] com or call 209-613-3420. Help is needed from 11pm on Wednesday November 26th until 11am Thursday November 27th.

Don’t want to wait until Thanksgiving, or perhaps you want a double play of turkey? ~MELISSA CLAIRE’S KITCHEN~ at the Velo Rouge Café is hosting a turkey-themed dinner Thursday November 20th. The four-course prix-fixe menu will be a “Whole Turkey Dinner,” featuring dishes like local mixed chicories salad with turkey cracklings, pomegranate seeds and a Katz Late Harvest Sauvignon Blanc vinaigrette, and turkey soup with turkey-stuffed wontons. The $45 four-course menu includes an appetizer, mid-course, entrée, and dessert. The menu is served at two seatings: 6:15pm and 8pm. Ideal for singles, couples, or groups, each seating accommodates up to 24 guests at three communal tables. To make reservations, call Melissa at 415-786-3777 or email reservations [at] melissaclaire [dot] com. 798 Arguello Blvd. at McAllister.

~EPIC ROASTHOUSE~ is serving a southern Thanksgiving this year! Co-owner and executive chef Jan Birnbaum will prepare a four-course, prix-fixe menu featuring chive buttermilk biscuits with house-made ham and Hook’s Wisconsin farmhouse cheddar; lobster cakes with radish-cucumber salad and lobster hollandaise; potato, leek and Champagne soup with caviar; wood oven-roasted Branigan turkey with cornbread dressing, parsnip, and potato puree, and black pepper cranberry sauce; and chanterelle mushroom risotto with butternut squash and black truffle vinaigrette. DUDE. Can we have access to that menu all week, plllllllllease? Desserts include milk chocolate pumpkin crème brûlée; pecan cranberry tartlet with Bulleit bourbon ice cream and caramel sauce; and apple tart with a hint of saffron and a Tahitian vanilla ice cream. $85 per person (12 and under: $40). Early seatings: 1:30pm, 2pm, 2:30pm. Late seatings: 4pm, 4:30pm, 5pm. 369 The Embarcadero at Folsom, 415-369-9955.

At ~AMERICANO~, chef Paul Arenstam will serve a traditional, family-style Thanksgiving feast featuring holiday dishes such as Sausalito Springs watercress salad with Fuyu persimmon, ricotta salata cheese, and pomegranate vinaigrette; a family-style Thanksgiving platter, including all-natural heritage turkey from Frank Reese Jr. Good Shepherd Turkey Ranch (Lindsborg, Kansas); Brussels sprouts with lemon confit and chestnuts; Hog Island Oyster and fennel sausage; spicy braised Swiss chard with garlic and pine nuts, and more. Americano guests will finish with a seasonally inspired dessert sampler of pumpkin pie, chocolate pecan pie, and ginger cake. There are three separate seatings on Thanksgiving at 2/2:30pm, 4/4:30pm, and 6/6:30pm. The cost is $75 per person and $25 per child (under 12). 8 Mission St., 415-278-3777.
The new ~AUREA~ at the Stanford Court will be serving a special multi-course Thanksgiving menu from 3pm–9pm. The menu includes an amuse of pumpkin soup with crème fraîche, your choice of an appetizer (Dungeness crab and avocado tower or butternut gnocchi with porcini and sage), salad, a risotto course, and either turkey with all the fixins, salmon, or beef, plus dessert. Adults $75, children 6–12 $35, children five and under eat free. 905 California St. at Powell, 415-989-3500.

~BALBOA CAFE SAN FRANCISCO~ is hosting an all-American Thanksgiving dinner and dessert menu from 11:30am–11pm. The a la carte menu includes butternut squash soup, turkey with cornbread stuffing, blue lake beans, mashed potatoes, fresh cranberry sauce, and giblet gravy, or halibut or steak for you turkey haters. 3199 Fillmore St. at Greenwich, 415-921-3944.

~MILLENNIUM~ is hosting a vegetarian Thanksgiving Supper. Yup, tofu turkey! It’s five-course prix-fixe dinner, $60/person, $30/child under 12 years old, 2:30pm–7:30pm. 580 Geary St. at Jones, 415-345-3900.

~XYZ~ is hosting a special a la carte Thanksgiving menu with a unique twist on the holiday fixings, including sugar pie pumpkin soup and sage and olive oil roasted turkey. W Hotel, 181 3rd St. at Howard, 415-777-5300.

Here’s an interesting one in the East Bay: ~MONSOON MASALA~ in Pleasant Hill is offering a Thanksgiving dinner menu for the entire week of Monday November 24 through Saturday November 29th (closed Thanksgiving Day). Chef Kumar will blend flavors and aromas of his native India in a traditional dinner of soup, roasted turkey, pumpkin side dishes, and dessert, for $19.95. Reservations recommended and families welcome. 2375 Contra Costa Blvd. at Boyd, Pleasant Hill, 925-685-9100.

For those who want to bail on the supper entirely, ~VITRINE~ at The St. Regis San Francisco will be offering an extended brunch menu with some Thanksgiving faves from 11am–2pm. Take your pick from some classic egg brunch dishes, pancakes, French toast, a burger, some sandwiches, and yes, turkey with stuffing, cauliflower, and potato au gratin. 125 3rd St. at Howard, 415-284-4000.

Oh, and just because I’m crazy: did you ever see Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse? He did these brilliant “trailers” in between the two horror flicks, and the one he did for Thanksgiving just kills me, har. The trailer is totally R (gory violence, adult content), but for the fellow sick minds out there, this sh*t is so funny. Best voiceover ever: “White meat, dark meat, all will be carved.” Enjoy! (Aw hell, while you’re at it, watch the one for Machete, equally brilliant.)