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Oct 29, 2015 2 min read

This week's tablehopper: splish-splash.

This week's tablehopper: splish-splash.
Chanterelles, hen of the woods, and trumpet mushrooms with huckleberries at Petit Crenn. Photo: ©
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Well look at that, we have some warm weather lined up for Halloween, so all the slutty witches and slutty shirtless bros in short shorts won’t freeze this year. Actually, I am happy for the little kiddies who can go out trick-or-treating and not get their homemade robot costume all rained on.

Since we’re talking about getting rained on, I had not one but two instances of ill-mannered people spilling things on me yesterday. Number one: dude at the StrEat Food Park, poorly managing to balance all of the food he had stacked up, and his salsa container of ketchup falls off his pile, splatters my jeans, foot, and squeezed into the perforated cutouts in my shoe and got all over the inside. I blurted a “shit!” while he could barely muster a “sorry.” I think he’s going to get me a napkin, but no, he gets himself another ketchup and doesn’t pick up the one he spilled and scurries off. Dude, #youredoingitwrong.

Last night, at the (trés fantastique) Hot Chip show at the Fox, Miss Thing is holding two full pints of beer overhead and proceeds to spill her stinky beer all down my neck and back as she clumsily pushes through the crowd. Honey, take a sip before you move through a crowd, and don’t hold beers up overhead like an Olympic torch if you can’t handle them—no one wants an IPA shower. You are not Flo from Alice—you are a klutz. Your chirpy “sorry!” was truly pathetic. And not enough.

What is wrong with people? I’d be horrified if I splattered ketchup on someone or spilled my beer down their back. I’d rush to get them napkins. I would apologize profusely. We all make mistakes moving through this world, but it’s how you handle the cleanup that makes a difference. It says a lot about who you are. Let’s all try harder out there.

(Twice in one day was just too much for me to not vent. Thanks for listening.)

And thanks for voting! You already voted for my piece in the Time Out New York Ultimate New York Life contest, right?!

Yours truly’s post (Seven things San Francisco restaurants need to stop doing, like, right now) is #1 on the page, and will hopefully be number one in votes, because the winner gets an apartment rent-free in New York City for six months and will write for Time Out about New York’s restaurant, nightlife, and city scene. Yes, it would be a dream come true for me!

And it would be the best present for my birthday, which is actually this Sunday, so thank you for voting! XOXO

Have a great fall weekend—and don’t forget to fall back (instead of fall down)! Marcia Gagliardi

Chanterelles, hen of the woods, and trumpet mushrooms with huckleberries at Petit Crenn. Photo: © tablehopper Newsletter from Friday, Oct 30 2015

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