Ho's

After I had a serious altercation with the chumps at Andy's Chinese (they delivered the wrong order after a 50-minute wait, and it was cold, and when I called to complain they didn't care to fix it), I needed another lousy Chinese joint to take their place. (My ex was furious that I cut off Andy's completely because he loved their fried rice, but this is what happens when you cross an Italian: Andy's was dead to me. Whaddya know, I'm not talking to the ex anymore either. Huh. I am quite sure he's happily eating their fried rice now that we're through.)

My friend Andrew recommended HO'S, and I was like hey, I can get down with anyplace called Ho's. Let's party. Here's an amazing tip about Ho's (any of you folks who are low on funds will totally live for this ridiculous happy hour deal): order two main courses from 3pm-6pm, and you get a starter, soup, and fried rice or chow mein for two people. Dude, it's seriously a pile of food for a week for something like $13. Ho's got me and my boyfriend through the dark years (2001-2003) with this special.

Or for you single folks (high five) the "Ho's Combo for One" is a pretty smokin' deal—for $8.50 you get your choice from a list o' classics (Kung Pao Chicken, fine, whatever) and you get one of three apps (egg roll, pot sticker, or chicken salad), plus wonton or hot and sour soup AND fried rice, steamed rice, or chow mein. Again, mountain of food. You'll be tired of it in two days, which is exactly how long it will last. Unless you're a boy with a bottomless pit for a stomach.

Be sure to order it without MSG if you're sensitive to it because Ho's is loading it on like a tranny with a can of Aqua Net.

Anything with the BBQ pork is pretty good. Pork chops, also not bad. Otherwise it's all about your favorite classic Chinese dishes. Whatever it is, it will show up quickly, you'll get a hefty portion of it, and it will be made with sub-par ingredients that you will still eat because that's kind of the state of Chinese delivery in this town. I really want to boot Ho's from my shortlist of tragic Chinese delivery options, I mean really, this place mostly sucks and I can now afford much better Chinese, but I haven't quite found another skank to take Ho's place. So that's why I'm putting this out there. Can you help me? I will definitely keep you posted on any good Chinese delivery developments/discoveries.

Ho's
2360 Van Ness Ave.
Cross: Clay St.
San Francisco, CA 94109

415-776-4666
415-776-1666

website

Sun-Thu 11am-10:30pm
Fri-Sat 11am-11pm

Apps $3.50-$6.95
Entrées $4.50-$10.95
Desserts $1.75