This week’s tablehopper: begin the beguine. (free)

what’s cookin’

Hullo, gang! Well, well, well, would you look at that, we made it into a new year. (Barely.) We needed these recent and endless rainstorms to symbolically wash away as much of 2025 as possible. But what a friggin’ mess—so sorry for everyone impacted by the storms and king tides and power outages. While looking at Fortuna contentedly basking in her sunbath this morning, I’m not the only one thankful blue skies have returned after the deluge. The air is so clean and crisp. It’s time to go for a walk! And I’m counting down the days to Dungeness crab season beginning—it’s so close.

Did you have a good holiday? The Gagliardi family had a sweet one, kicking off with my father’s 85th birthday party (you should have seen the epic pasta al forno Calabrese my sister made for the occasion, which our family makes with hard-boiled egg, provola, soppressata, and polpettine—there were 11 of us, and everyone still got to take home leftovers!). The next day, our Christmas Eve/Vigilia/Feast of the Seven Fishes was as delicious as it was fun to make (there’s nothing like frying calamari in the garage at your dad’s workbench while drinking some bubs), and thanks to NYT Cooking, our prime rib roast for Christmas dinner was such a winner, along with April Bloomfield’s recipe for Yorkshire pudding.

And on the 26th, she rested! I needed to catch my breath for a night before having it taken away again by the electrifying RuPaul at The Midway, what a show. 65 years young, you better WERQ, Ru!

Sis and I also had an uplifting evening strolling through the dreamy Lightscape at the Botanical Garden, here’s hoping it returns for a longer installation next time. Just WOW. 

New Year’s Eve at the Phoenix Hotel was truly bittersweet. What a faaaabulous night of queer family friends (old and new!) and house music and laughter and connection—thank you Juanita MORE! and David Harness and the entire Phoenix and Chambers crew for pulling that patio party off in the rain (which we didn’t even care about, it was actually quite pretty). My wingman Aaron and I took a baptismal New Year’s Day dip in the pool on the rainy morning before we checked out of our sweet suite, may it not be our last. (You can read my earlier Phoenix farewell piece here.)

I hope to have more to share about the Phoenix soon—I’m still holding out for a rescue story (just like the Oasis!), thanks to a wealthy philanthropist who gives a shit about preserving SF culture. It can and should happen. I beweave! In the meantime, you can still book a room, and don’t forget to stock up on Phoenix merch, which is some of the best I’ve ever seen (like the pink hotel key fob and rolling papers, okerrrr!).

I am so behind posting my pics of all these fun moments and meals on @tablehopper, but I’ve been super-busy working on and wrapping up a personal matter that has taken months, which is finally done. I’m hoping to carve out more time to be able to post soon. Real/Reel talk: I prefer sleep over making Reels.

Did you get to savor some holiday downtime? I know many of us have been living like raccoons the past week, staying up late (re)watching Heated Rivalry and foraging for midnight snacks. I finally started the cringey-hilarious I Love L.A., but I had to finish watching the remake of The Leopard on Netflix first, a historical mini-series that takes place in Sicily in the 1860s during the Risorgimento (unification) of Italy. The sets and costumes are fantastic, and if you’re wondering who the stunning Angelica Sedara is, it’s Deva Cassel, the daughter of Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel (talk about good genes). (Funnily enough, she’s now dating the actor who plays Tancredi.)

However, I’m not encouraging you to stay home! January is a slow month for restaurants and clubs and bars, so please, try to go out and support our local businesses. On my show list this month: The Seshen are performing at The Independent on Friday January 16th (I almost never miss their fab shows), and I’m looking forward to seeing Say She She at August Hall on Tuesday January 27th for some disco-fied fun. And Saturday January 31st, Miss Kittin is playing a DJ set at Great Northern (you know Frank Sinatra)?

If you’re trying to start the year healthy and doing Dry January, you should attend this Water Tasting and Appreciation Class by Camper English, which he’s holding on January 8th and 31st, and February 10th. You’ll taste test 12–16 different waters and will leave the class with an appreciation for the variety of waters to drink, a way to describe how they taste, and feeling hella hydrated.

While I’ve been hermiting hard over here for the past week, one of the things I’ve been working on, of course, is my annual the bore piece, a roundup of 10 things I don’t want to see in the culinary world in the new year. Would you believe I’ve been writing the bore since 2007 (that’s 19 years)?! I know many of you longtime readers love my yearly list of gripes, and since you’re a treasured supporting subscriber (thank you!), you get to read it first. 

What’s wild is this year is going to be tablehopper’s 20th anniversary, I can’t even! Much more on that soon. For now, thanks for being with me (some of you for many, many years!)—you’re such an incredible community. I’m wishing you a healthy, happy, inspiring, and abundant 2026. 🥂 Let’s do this. Keep tending to what brings you joy.

Yours,
~Marcia

the bore

In 2026, These Things Need to Be 86’ed

Oh heyyyyyy, it’s a new year, and as per tradition over here, it’s time for the bore, my annual rant about played-out trends in our local culinary scene and annoying diner habits that really need to stop or get booted from the clerb. I’ve been writing the bore since 2007, so you can take a look at all my past gripes and kvetches and see how far we’ve come—or not. I usually keep things positive over here in hopperlandia, but this is my annual moment to have a heavy hand with the salt, so let’s get shakin’.

1. For number one, let’s kick things off with GLP-1 diner/dinner etiquette. I’m glad many of you out there are feelin’ good and lookin’ svelte, but if we’re friends going out to dinner together and you’re taking Ozempic or any other GLP-1s, I feel like you need to disclose this when we’re deciding where to go since you won’t be eating or drinking very much. Like, let’s skip the tasting menu or the dim sum feast and get sushi instead. Or, I’ll eat something before we go out and then we can have a few oysters and share a salad and have a glass of wine and call it a night. No shame, no judgement here! But it’s like dining with Tony Montana’s wife, Elvira—she just isn’t very hungry. Or going out with a vegan—I need to know these things before we open the menu at the old-school steakhouse on prime rib night.

2. Related: girl dinner. Restaurants, please don’t run that as a special or menu item. There are so many things wrong with it. Ewwwwww, David!

3. Odd plating. This is officially making me nuts: restaurants that serve appetizers with three portions/bites to two guests. I understand the visual appeal of odd numbers, but don’t make me Rochambeau with my date for the third oyster, or whatever impossible thing to share that has been served to us. (Unless, there’s a ghost at the table that I’m just not seeing. Or we’re having dim sum—three is for harmony and good fortune, and I will not mess with that.) I’m less mad at five portions for two people, because whoever enjoyed it most (or isn’t on Ozempic LOL) should get the bonus round.

Here’s a fun surcharge idea to help your bottom line: offer to up the portion for $X so our table is even-Steven and we don’t try to politely split or surrender the lone piece of crudo. Or just make it happen and tell your guests you spoiled them with the extra bite. Or sell items by the piece? So many diners go out in pairs, and there’s nothing like a four-top being told they need to order two of something because the dish is only portioned for three servings. Fix the food math please!

4. What is up with microgreens on everything? Chefs, I know you want to garnish the hell out of that plate and make it look fresh and cute, but I’m feeling like a baby rabbit. Give your cooks some other edible flourishes to play with. (I’m not asking for the return of the mint sprig and a halved strawberry on dessert, to be clearrrrr.)

Since I’m on a garnish rant: sliced cherry tomato on the plate, you make me feel like I’m at a spa resort in Arizona in 1994. It’s the vegetable equivalent of a squeeze bottle squiggle of balsamic vinegar. Leave it in the past.

5. I swear to Goddess, if I open one more takeout bag with the automatically included, plastic-wrapped cutlery pack inside, I’m going to stab someone in the eye with a spork. And, of course, it’s almost always a packet of non-compostable plastic utensils that will still be around 585 years from now. The worst! I’m getting takeout, so I’m obviously going somewhere with utensils, like my apartment. A delivery is going to someone’s address, where there is probably a kitchen with a silverware drawer (unless they just moved in). Trust, if we need utensils so we can eat some pasta salad in our car, we’ll tell you. Save your money, save the planet, MAKE IT STOP.

6. Nonconsensual scents. Hey, you. Yeah, the one at table seven who’s wafting like a love child of Pepé Le Pew and Pigpen from Peanuts—did you spritz yourself with every single perfume from your grandma’s vanity and then decide to traipse on over to a wine bar? I can barely detect the bouquet of my Champagne since it now smells like the perfume counter at Macy’s during the holidays, let alone enjoy my dinner in a cloud of aggressive femininity. When someone extra-redolent walks by in a restaurant, it’s the new crop dusting. Hold your breath! And guys, cool it on the heavy splash of cologne, this isn’t a Jean Naté After Bath Splash commercial casting. This is one case when more definitely isn’t more.

7. Speaking of scents that don’t make sense: I’m surprised by some of the scented soaps in restaurant bathrooms, like a sickly-sweet, floral hand wash I encountered recently (no, I don’t want my hands to smell like jasmine while I’m eating), and then there’s the omnipresent Aēsop hand wash (for like the past 10 years, yawn). I don’t want my paws to smell like anything except clean! Scent is so personal, and I’m actually allergic to eucalyptus, so I’m not a fan of many of the custom hippie hand washes—thanks for the rash.

And why the dreaded lotion in a fancy restaurant bathroom? I get so mad when it’s a dark washroom and I accidentally use the lotion instead of the soap. I appreciate the gesture, but I’m not a concubine, nor am I being held captive at the bottom of the well at Buffalo Bill’s hideout—I’m just a lady with a sensitive nose out for dinner who simply wants to wash her hands.

8. As for current décor trends, I say enough of the faux luxe furniture in velvet with brushed gold accents—restaurants and lounges are beginning to feel like a sorority girl’s first apartment entirely furnished by Wayfair. Since I’m at it: basta with all the beige, and let’s dial back the marble, ok? Save it for your sarcophagus. It’s beginning to feel like a mausoleum out there.

9. I can’t believe I have to write this, but if you’re hosting a tasting event featuring chefs and their restaurants, they better not all be cishet white male chefs. A publicist pitched me a food event last year and I said I wouldn’t cover it based on the homogenized, monochromatic lineup. Not a single woman was included, and there was just one brown chef. Are you kidding me? At another event, all I saw were tables helmed by white men with their big-name restaurants embroidered on their chef coats. How boring and tired. Representation matters. Try harder.

10. QR menus. AGAIN. I already called this out in 2023. There were plenty of other things I wanted to mention here, and I’ve never repeated anything on the bore, but for you, QR menus, I’m making an exception. It’s 2026, do not make me scan a tattered QR code that is hanging on for dear life while taped to the middle of the table or bar (but on your front window, fine!) so I can look at your menu.

The pandemic is OVAH. If I’m going out to drop my hard-earned cash on a cocktail and a pasta dish instead of making them at home, I really need to see a menu, because I am out! I’ll happily take a hideous laminated menu with scribbled price changes, or a stained paper menu, or a sticky binder (wipe that down, please), or a chalkboard I can barely read over a QR menu. Because this moment, right now, is about the return to hospitality and why we dine out, and nothing distances you from your guest like giving them yet another reason to be on their phone. It’s such a buzzkill of a first impression. The limpest, clammiest handshake. We want a hug!

Is there something I missed? Do you feel like bitching, too? Go ahead and email me. But first, you should read past issues of the bore to catch up on my previous kvetches, like tinned fish and caviar everything and bad table lights. 

As for how expensive it is to dine out right now, I hear you, but I don’t want to hear it! Yes, SF is insane and many of us can’t eat out like we used to. Do what you can (and treat yoself sometimes), stop ordering delivery, and support your neighborhood restaurant! 

the chatterbox

A Rare San Francisco Bird Retires from Tending to Her Trademark Bowl of Eggs—After 46 Years of Making Memories Over Legendary Soufflés, Jacqueline Margulis Has Closed Cafe Jacqueline

We knew this day was going to come soon—it was inevitable—but it doesn’t reduce the heartache when one of San Francisco’s most unique and singular restaurants has actually, truly closed. After 46 years in North Beach, the inimitable chef-owner Jacqueline Margulis of Cafe Jacqueline (who is almost 90 years old!) has hung up her whisk and toque, reluctantly closing the doors to our city’s magical soufflé palace (you really should watch that short film). No one can protest—all we can say is, “Merci and adieu.”

New Openings: RT Bistro Opens Friday, Poesia Café Has a Second Location Downtown 

Just before the holidays, I ran an in-depth preview of the upcoming RT Bistro from the talented Rich Table team—their creative spin on a neighborhood SF bistro opens in Hayes Valley this Friday January 9th. Read my piece for a rundown of the deeelicious dishes (I can’t stop thinking about the potato-leek mille-feuille) and more. Reservations are open (book it!); dinner nightly 5pm–10:30pm. 205 Oak St. at Gough.

Back in September, thanks to a star subscriber tip-off, I reported a second location of Poesia Café was coming to the Montgomery BART stop, one level down at One Post Plaza. Thanks to that same reader, he let me know that it’s now open. Come by for chef and co-founder Giovanni Liguoro’s fantastic and freshly baked cornetti, focaccia, and other baked goods, plus panini and espresso drinks. There are a few tables where you can sit outside and sip your cappuccino. Open Mon–Fri 7am–5pm. 1 Post St. at Montgomery.

Comeback Stories: The Big 4 Will Return, and Nick’s Cove Boat Shack Has Risen from the Ashes

The Malaysian Restaurant Damansara in Noe Valley Is Switching Its Format to Takeout

After three years in her Noe Valley space, chef-owner Tracy Goh of Damansara—one of our city’s few Malaysian restaurants—is making some changes to adapt to our challenging business climate. She’s no longer offering dine-in service, and is now serving a different menu of affordable dishes for takeout and delivery for lunch or dinner instead.

You can bring home her beef rendang, turmeric or coriander fried chicken, chili crab and buns, and all kinds of vegetarian dishes and sides. Go support her business—she has worked so hard to have her own restaurant. Goh will still open her doors for private events, and is hosting a lunar new year crab feast on February 21st. Open Tue–Sat 12pm–8pm. 1781 Church St., 415-914-0931.

Additional Closures Around the SF Bay Area 

The beginning of the year is always full of sad closures, with folks throwing in the towel after making it through the busy holidays, and dreading a slow January (so please, go support your local restaurants this month)!

An emblematic venue of SF Bay Area ’60s culture, The Trident in Sausalito closed on New Year’s Day after a deal to sell it fell through. The 127-year-old location actually dates back to 1898, when it was the San Francisco Yacht Club, and then it became a jazz club. The Trident restaurant opened in the 1960s under the ownership of The Kingston Trio, and is famous for its psychedelic painted ceilings, and let’s just say Janis Joplin, Joan Baez, and Bill Graham were all regulars, and Robin Williams was a busboy. You know there are stories for days!

The Trident is also known for its tequila sunrise (according to this story in the SF Chronicle, bartender Robert “Bobby” Lozoff served his version to Keith Richards and Mick Jagger at a private party at The Trident for the Rolling Stones’ 1972 U.S. tour, which became known as the “cocaine and tequila sunrise tour”—I guess they really liked the cocktail). Here’s hoping someone with respect for preserving The Trident’s groovy culture takes it over. 558 Bridgeway, Sausalito. [Via SF Chronicle and SFGATE] 

Another ugh: while the restaurant has been closed since the pandemic, it was still so sad to see the big, green Alioto’s Restaurant neon fish sign (with the best jaunty lettering) be taken down as crews start demolishing the 100-year-old restaurant to make way for a public plaza going in later this summer (read that linked SF Chronicle story to learn more about the why and what).

The good news is the sign is going into storage for now, and it sounds like this iconic memento of SF and Fisherman’s Wharf is at least going to be viewable and lit up again at some point. It was such a beacon in the night! Long live No. 8! (You can read a former archivist featuring Alioto’s here.) 8 Fisherman’s Wharf. [Via KTVU and SF Chronicle]

I spotted a post that Bottle Bacchanal—known for their natural wines, quality spirits, and non-alcoholic beverages in the Castro—is sadly closing their shop on January 12th. 4126 18th St.

Also in the Castro: I was surprised to read that neighborhood brunch mainstay Kitchen Story served its last order of millionaire’s bacon on January 4th. Their IG post makes it sound like a new concept is coming to the location; their Oakland outpost remains open. 3499 16th St. at Sanchez. [Via SFIST]

Some folks in the Inner Richmond have been alerting me to a potential closure of The Spanish Table on Clement Street...

The announcement of the upcoming closure of the women-owned and fiercely indie Bottom of the Hill music venue was a rough way to start 2026. After 35 years of hosting live music almost every night, and known for booking so many amazing bands before they blew up (like Oasis in 1994, The Strokes in 2001, The White Stripes twice in 2000, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in 2003), this is gonna be a tough loss. Cities need live music venues! They are our heartbeat.

The club’s last night will be at the end of 2026 (on New Year’s Eve), but a lot can happen in a year, so let’s see what shakes out. Read more in this COYOTE piece (thanks for reviving the memory of when the Beastie Boys did a stealth show there as Quasar—everyone was talking about it!). 1233 17th St. at Texas.

the socialite

A New, Monthly Artisan Food Fair Kicks Off This Weekend

Are you a fellow condiment queen? Hot sauce boss? Cookie monster?

the archivist